Ok so today I skipped school to take my behind the wheel test for my license and in the end failed. FUCKING HELL. FUCKING CHINATOWN. SERIOUSLY!!!!! I don't know the the fuck my dad was thinking when he told me to schedule that goddamn appointment at goddamn chinatown. He was like, "Oh, those people there are nice and blah blah blah." NICE MY ASS. Fucking hell, I got a fucking lady that was such a fucking pain the the goddamn ass. And thanks to her I failed the test. I feel like a goddamn failure now. My mom's like, "I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO FAIL! From the way you were driving, I knew you were gonna fail."

Wow. Nice way to add salt to the wound mom. Seriously what kind of mom discourages their own goddamn daughter. She could have said, "At least you tried." or something along the lines of that. BUT NO. Fucking shit.
She keeps comparing me to my older brother or my younger sister and it make me feel like shit. "Why can't you be smart like your brother?" "Why can't you be skinny like your sister?" "Why did I have a kid like you" are things she always say. When she says things like this, I just feel like crap. I get all depressed and angry and shit. There were times where I thought, "maybe I should just leave this goddamn world,you'd probably be much happier without me in it anyways."

Shit man, I don't even know why the hell I'm living anymore. No matter where I am, I am still the outcast in everything. Whether it be in my own family or when I'm with my friends. When I'm with my friends, it's not as bad I guess. There are times where I feel that they'd prefer not to hang out with me since I don't talk much. I wish I could be more open with them about my true self but then again, I'm always afraid of getting hurt emotionally.

Thats all for now. Gotta go to sleep.


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